What Kind of Fool am I?

"I may be an idiot, but I'm no fool!" - Monty Python's Flying Circus

" ... And he never listens to them / He knows that they're the fools ... " - The Beatles, "The Fool on the Hill"

"Who is more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows the first fool?" - Obi-wan Kenobi [paraphrased from memory], Star Wars (1977)

"I've known [Lewis Winter] since grade school, and I still don't understand him." - a schoolmate/neighbor [memory again]

"Out there they'll revile you as a monster. Out there they will hate and scorn and jeer." - Dom Claude Frollo, from Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame [1996]

The second quote, the one from the legendary rock band, inspired part of an essay I wrote last semester for my English class. I'll wager it is about time to post about this. Many people assume I'm just a fool based upon my...eccentric mannerisms. They couldn't be more wrong. If you'll pardon the lack of humility, I'm really smart. Really, I'm freaking awesome! As boastful as I know that is, I consider it also to be a heightened level of pride; it doesn't do to lose one's footing in conceit, but I see nothing wrong with realizing the truth about oneself or having a positive self-image.

Now. As the old saying goes, "Don't judge a book by its cover." When taken literally, it is sometimes best to do just that (so many books, so little time), but socially, doing so is very presumptuous and even imprudent. People only see the tip of my iceberg. I believe I am introverted, despite my jovial personality. I keep much back. An obvious example: most people don't know that "the guy with the crazy laugh" is a published writer (to be fair, I did not go through editing), or an actor, that he is actually quite careful with bladed objects such as knives and rapiers (although even my mother doesn't believe that one), that his having caffeine does not cause the apocalypse, or that he'd never harm a fly.

Some people often assume I am "creepy." Whether this is due to my fascination with death or (in a couple of cases) no apparent reason at all, I cheerfully refute these claims. I'm glad I have enemies, or even people who simply aren't worth it to me (mostly the latter), because that means that according to Bill Cosby, I'm on the road to success (by not attempting to please everyone) and, in the words of Winston Churchill, I've "stood up for something." Who had guessed that this guy [me] is a vegetarian? A feminist? A blogger?

People tend to believe I am gay as well. Now don't get me wrong: I'm not by any means homophobic; I love all people no matter what and I am into LGBT rights. But that doesn't make me gay. I mentioned a few sentences ago my being a feminist. Does that limit members to women? By vegetarian do I only not eat human meat? And no, I don't sparkle in the sun, so put your wooden stakes down. I don't have to be a member of something I support. But I've mentioned before that I'm perfectly OK hugging both sexes and all genders. A hug, to me, denotes love, but love is by no means restricted to romance. If it was, we'd be incestuous. And it's OK for girls to hug girls and guys to hug girls. But when two or more dudes hug? What's the big deal? Honestly, people.

This leads back to my nonconformity. Despite what certain doctors and such think, I am not "ill" and do not need to be "fixed." I'm not socially incapable: I just don't agree with certain social norms. People have wasted loads of time and money attempting to make me part of the herd, but I have resisted mightily, and - you know what? - I feel fine! Better, actually. Perhaps a post about adversity is due, which (by mere incident) was an essay for a previous English class. Thanks, enemies and lowly scum! Love ya!!

---- Lewis

A Link to Another "Woman in Black" Review

http://thevaultofhorror.blogspot.com/2012/02/hammer-is-back-with-woman-in-black.html

Well put, Vaulty! And it is almost four in the morning here. I should get some sleep.... Or better yet, some reading!

Tata.

- Lewis

A Rainy Day and a Snowy Night

The title of this post refers to yesterday (Saturday, February nineteenth, 2012), when we had a chilly-but-pleasant rainy day and the first snowfall of the season. Being Lewis Winter, I love my namesake and all it brings, which is why I am half-disappointed in this particular one. One side of me yearns for cold and snow and ice and frost; the other enjoys the nice springy weather. I am glad at least one night, and I'm happy for what we did get...but I cannot help but wonder if global warming has something to do with this. Because I'm sure polar bears don't fancy it as much as we might.

Politics aside, I wrote a short poem a few minutes ago and would like to share. I am calling it "Rain Cycle" for now.

Rain

Falling

Onto leaves

And then dripping

Into the soft earth

Cycles back to the sky

And will soon return to rain.

Reminds me a bit of Herb Moore's album H2O Overture, but I like it otherwise. Any comments? Feedback? Death threats?

It's been rather warm today, but I got a good load of reading done. Now if you'll excuse me, I have forty-seven pages to read in order to complete my new 200-page daily reading goal.

Have a nice day.

-- Lewis M. Winter

60 Page Review: Vampire Crush by A.M. Robinson

Dear oh dear.... What can I say? The title and cover pretty much review the book's content on their own, do they not? No. Well, not all of it. I found the writing to be very sloppy and at times awkward, as well as the narration. I don't have the book on me now, but I remember something like: "I poked at the grapes on my plate with my fork. They looked like little grenades, and I wondered if they might explode. They passed the test."

What? Even when not considering the total randomness of this thought (leave out unimportant words!), it doesn't make logical sense, either: grenades are not mines! They don't just explode when touched! They have pins!!

Another thing was the lack of subtlety. The vampire's name was not Edward Cullen, or even something cool like Richard Sklenar or Kolo (the latter two being of my creation; I write the occasional vampire tale too, just not lame type of which we see so much today). No, no, his name was Vlad. FREAKING. VLAD!!!! Are you gods-be-damned kidding me?? And this got published! What's scary is that the author works in New York City - in publishing. Gulp.

And while Stephenie Meyer, the infamous author of the Twilight series (often referred to as a "saga") did not invent the concept of vampire romance (not even sure who did, if not Bram Stoker - but his was not nearly as stupid; in fact, Dracula has become a favorite of mine), this book rips off Meyer's work in numerous ways, what with the strange family moving in and the Hot Guy ignoring her and sitting with her in class and...you get the idea. This book, or at least the sixty pages I forced myself to read in order to get it off the list at my book club, is unoriginal, poorly written, and ultimately a sheer pain to read. I think I'll read something by Stephen King now, or maybe Mary Shelley's Valperga when I can find a copy. And I do hope Jenny Hubbard writes another book. I intend to be done with Robinson, but who knows? - I might have to do this again. Wish me luck.

Final grade: F

A better review here.

Au revoir!

- Lewis

Coming Soon: 60 Page Reviews

"Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing." - Benjamin Franklin

My book club has a policy which states that in order to disqualify a book from the very fierce competition toward the Melinda Awards, two or three (not sure exactly how many at the moment) persons must read at least sixty pages in order to give it a "No." I've done that at least once (Vampire Crush - even the title is terrible!), and I'm currently struggling to reach the sixtieth page of What Boys Really Want by Pete Hautman. So this is basically a preview of something to come. First I shall probably review the aforementioned "vampire" novel. Also, I may be amending my New Year's resolution to 100 or maybe even 150 books. At least. I really need to get up to speed on my reading. In addition to these, I'm trying to read more good books and sixty pages each of more gods-awful books, which means my ascending standards won't tolerate any "decent" or "OK" books - it must be on either side of the fence for me and not on its tip. This is in order to improve my own writing and throw off more books for Printz. Another reason for which I do this is efficiency: I must read more. I already read far more than most people, but I was surprised at the reading abilities of many of my fellow members, particularly Ara. Much power to that one! I must, of course, make room for non-Printz books, but that should't be an issue. Anyhow, time to go!

Peace!

- Lewis

Book Review: Marly's Ghost by David Levithan, Plus a Ramble on Valentinians

My first encounter with David Levithan was just months ago when I read his very intense novel Every You, Every Me. This was not nearly as good, but I only say that because EYEM was one of the finest books of 2011 - not to put this one down in any way...no pun intended, honestly.

It's a spinoff of Dickens' A Christmas Carol but focused on Valentine's Day rather than Christmas. It tells the story of Ben, a grief-stricken teen whose girlfriend has recently passed away due to sickness. He is visited by three ghosts, four if one includes that of his dead significant other Marly. They teach him lessons about moving on in a very Dickensian manner. It was very touching, but nothing amazing. Like I said, it's not EYEM. It was still a fun read and a quick one.

Final grade: B

Now for my views on Valentine's Day. It has a seemingly nice idea on the one hand, but I agree with Olivia when I say people should be kind and loving all year long. It might be considered awkward to give someone spontaneous chocolates on most given days of the year...but why? I am happily single, but I feel a non-romantic love toward all my friends and family. I go with the Beatles' ideals in spreading the message of peace and love. Basically, it's nice to be loving on one day, but better to be loving every day. Many friends of mine, male and female alike, not to mention all other genders (something I'm trying to learn about), receive at least one hug from me on almost every meeting. It's not because I'm in love with any of them, but because I simply love them. There is a difference. I apparently cannot stress it enough. Again, you people ought to know who you are. Yes, I love you guys very much.

Anyhoots, I must away, as I am technically "eating lunch" at school at the moment.

Oceans of friend-love,

Lewis

We the People

"We, ever your servants, will continue to defend your liberty and defend the forces that seek to take it from you!" - Rufus Scrimgeour, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1 (2010)

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In my Civics & Economics class, we were each asked to rewrite the Preamble in our own words. Aside from the basic grammatical irks (misuses of "shall," Seemingly random Capitalization - both of which must have been OK back then), I realized it is in dire need of updating. Here is my rewrite:

"We the people, human and otherwise, in order to perfect our union to the greatest possible degree; as well as establish true justice and ensure domestic tranquility; defend our borders and everything within – and without when necessary – yet force no being to fight unwillingly; equalize opportunities for those who seek them (depending upon plausibility but not determining anyone’s welfare according to factors out of any individual’s ability to control); secure the blessings of liberty for ourselves and for our posterity – these do ordain and furthermore establish this Constitution, and any further updates within reason, of these United States of America."

Mine may not be perfect (or to perfection's greatest possible degree, as it were) - but I try to acknowledge equal rights for all - not just straight white men, not even just for humans. All beings deserve a chance at life in the beginning, and how it works out is to be determined. I do not appreciate the fact of being bred simply to die; in fact, I despise how egg-chickens are handled, to name one thing in a thousand. Nor do I like the whole "born rich, die rich / born poor, die poor" thing which seems to be going on. I do realize that there are exceptions, but it seems harder to do well when one comes from a shabby background. Life is a game - and I don't literally mean the board game of that title - and a rigged one at that. Sometimes the only way to win for any amount of time is to cheat back. I've been surviving, as stated in previous posts, and I intend to continue doing so. I didn't get where I am today by sitting on my ass complaining; I got here by doing stuff. And while various systems have screwed me over, I don't waste any more time than I have to dealing with them. I am strong, in other words.

But the Constitution, much like the Bible, seems to need a bit of tweaking. And no, I was not in the Preamble number in Schoolhouse Rock Live!, although my friends were.

Love to all,

Lewis