Slaying and Butchering

Slaying vampires is freaking awesome. Butchering their concept is not. What has happened to media!? It might have started with Twilight, my all-time least favorite book, but now they have an entire section at the bookstore devoted to paranormal romance. And now, apparently, there is paranormal erotica. If Count Dracula were still undead, he'd bite garlic, stake himself, or maybe run into daylight. And I'm sure Bram Stoker is spinning in his grave.

I think I'll do a numerical list:

1. They do not bloody sparkle! That is the least menacing thing ever.
2. Don't date them! They will bite you and have you drink their blood in exchange! Eek!
3. Why are they made out to be sexually attractive? If I fell in love, I'd prefer my partner to be, well, alive. Ugh.
4. You YA romance writers are crowding out most chances of us actual fantasy and/or horror writers publishing vampire stories. It's become a cliche and horror publishers are apt to assume that we are writing about fairies as opposed to bloodsucking demons.
5. What ever happened to the awesome backstories? Satan, the Reaper, werewolves, snakes, bats, crows and ravens, underworld, Hell, necromancy, wolves, spiders, rats, mist, smoke, curses, and so on? Now they are just overdone humans.
6. As a continuation of #5, where did the scary go? The only reason Edward makes me shiver is that he watches Bella sleep, and teenage girls find it acceptable. Vampires, nosferatus, used to be an emblem of terror. Watch Dracula or Salem's Lot (both the 1979 versions - year of vampires?) and you'll see what I mean. Undead Mina approaching her father under the cemetery and saying "Papa?" (Dracula) and demonic Danny Glick tapping on Mark Petries window (Salem's Lot) are both spine-chilling. The books of both are even better, although I loved the appearance of Kurt Barlow (Salem's Lot master vampire) ,and Count Dracula's ability to crawl down walls was beyond really cool.
7. Werewolves. I actually thought the ones in the New Moon film were pretty cool, although I have no plans to read it, and I don't consider the wolves to be "were-". They are supposed to change at the full moon, not by will, and they become a wild beast instead of fully-in-control teddy bears. If you want good werewolf movies, watch any Wolf Man film (I've seen the newest one and half the 1941 version), The American Werewolf in London, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, or Van Helsing - VH is not a perfect film critically speaking, but the vampires are really cool, as are the werewolves. It's a fun watch. And it also has the Frankenstein monster and Mr. Hyde - a bit of a mash-up of horror beasts.

I suppose that is all. I have school tomorrow and this is my third post tonight, so I'd better hit the hay!

Long (unlive?) the true meaning of necromancy and vampirism! Sanguis bibimus! Ave Draculea!

Living, breathing love from,

Lewis

Book Review: Dracula by Bram Stoker

My first experience with Count Dracula was the movie Van Helsing, and my second a play from Cary Applause! in October 2009. Shortly after that I watched the 1979 film with Frank Langella, then the 1992 one with Gary Oldman, and earlier this year (I think) the one with Bela Lugosi, released in 1931. I loved all of these, but the book is better than any of them.

For those of you unfamiliar with Bram Stoker's classic horror novel, woe unto thee, it is set (and was published) in 1897. Jonathan Harker goes on a business trip to the Carpathian Mountains of Romania to work for Count Dracula, who he soon realizes is not altogether human. The Count later shows up in Harker's home of London, where he hopes to make his residence and take over, for during his lifetime the Count was a fierce warrior who conquered lands. Harker and a small band of vampire hunters team up to hunt down the terrible Count before it is too late.

This novel started out rather slow, but one, I don't mind slow and two, it was written in 1897, before people had the distractions of video games and telly and all that. It had a very gloomy tone to it, which I loved. The only thing that I didn't quite understand was how Dracula transformed himself into a vampire without being bitten. I often wonder at this, and for werewolves too: where did the first come from? Before there was one to be bitten by?

Otherwise I really loved this book, and it's about time I've finally read it. I recommend it to any horror, vampire, or dark fantasy fan.

Final grade: B