Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Let the Games Begin! A Post About Upcoming Movies

Two months until the Hunger Games movie. Squee! They'd better not ruin it like Stefen Fangmeier and 20th Century Fox did with Eragon. Grrr. But it looks promising. I do like Josh Hutcherson (Peeta Mellark) and Donald Sutherland (President Snow), and Jennifer Lawrence (Katniss Everdeen) is supposed to be a good actress as well. I am also aware of the making of The Hobbit. I can't get the tune right for the dwarves' song in the trailer, yet neither can I stop attempting to sing it. Christopher Nolan is coming out with a new Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises, which I really want to see. Only there's one unforgivable fact:

I've never seen any Batman film or even read the comics. Shoot me. I am interested, I just never found the time - that and I can't sit still with rentals (Tim Burton's Batman with Michael Keaton), and when the last Nolan one came out (The Dark Knight), I was thirteen and my parents thought I was "too young" even thought it was rated PG-13. THIRTEEN. Gahh.... Anyway, I'll try and get to it eventually. My parents didn't let me see Lord of the Rings in theaters, or Mr. Burton's version of Sweeney Todd. They think I'm younger than I am, apparently. I think I might just do a post of censorship. I've not done that one yet, have I? I don't recall one.

Battleship. What can I say? It's not so much that they're making a movie BASED ON A FREAKING STRATEGY GAME, but that it's from the makers of Transformers. Oh, lovely! I bet it's another film primarily based around special effects, no sense of plot coherence, stupid characters, and the charming message that women are sex objects - the last one being presented to a target young audience of males and females who may grow to believe this is true. The Three Stooges? Alvin and the Chipmunks AGAIN? Neither looked very appealing; Stooges just looked like a recycled excuse to remake something already existent, which looked unfunny enough (eye-pokes get old, and that looked like the whole joke of the entire movie). Alvin has been stretched so thin I won't see it (double meaning intended). Tintin looks excellent and I cannot wait to see it. I just saw Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows yesterday with a friend, and it was superb. And I hear Janet Evanovich's novel One for the Money is being adapted! Haven't read that one, but I did read her nonfiction book How I Write, which contained samples from her fiction. She's rather funny. Then there are the clueless-but-confident directors who can't stop making the same mistakes, particularly Roland Emmerich and Tyler Perry. I don't know or care what's next for them, but they can't seem to stop making film after painfully terrible film. Michael Bay...don't get me started. But Tim Burton and one of the other producers of Shane Acker's gem 9 are producing a movie based on a novel I have yet to read with a very odd title: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Yeah.... But I trust them. It sounds goofy, and might be, but I'm rooting for them to make it count. Two movies about Snow White are being made: Mirror, Mirror - which looks funny - and Snow White and the Huntsman, which looks more serious and deliciously dark. I want to see both. And there's a remake of Jack the Giant Killer, which looks cool, but I haven't actually seen the old one. The last few mentioned titles remind me of this really awesome miniseries I saw when I was nine or so called The Tenth Kingdom. I need to re-see it, but it was amazing, as I recall. That's enough for now.

Au revoir!
- Lewis

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